Groundhog Day
I’ve been going in two speeds lately: stalled or high speed racing. I’ve been Mario Brothers karting through to do’s, should do’s, could do’s, and what I really want to do. Sometimes I make it to the next level like a champ: stomping on items like those turtle enemies and collecting gold coins at the end (or mental pats on my back for productivity) and somedays, I have nothing to show for my day. If not for lists to keep me on track and my journal to remind me of thoughts and ideas, I’d probably spin out of control in overwhelm and distraction. To be honest, regardless of my checks and balance system, I can spin into overwhelm quite easily. I’m not proud to say that I can dilly dally like a pro and then ask myself “what was I going to do?”
When I do spin off track, I stall. Like a race car, I’m learning more and more that I need a well oiled and well taken care of vehicle i.e myself to exist in one piece.
Two weeks ago, I stalled. I stalled not because of overwhelm or running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I stalled because I was bored. I was unmotivated by it all at the present time. I told my mother, “I feel like the movie Groundhog Day.” I have the same gym schedule, I have the same wake up routine and even path around my house, I opt between the same meals everyday, I often wear the same thing more or less, and I have predictable content on my emails and phone.
*How I felt
I am very hard on myself and it’s been a challenge at times through this unemployed/sabbatical chapter to give myself grace when I don’t have something to show for my day to move the needle forward in this journey of “what’s next.” To allow myself to just be and to accept that today or a few hours or the morning may have been uneventful, maybe even lazy.
After two days of Grounhog Day and a lack of patience and irritability with the world because of my mundane mindset, I decided to tap into the extensive self help nuggets I’ve collected.
When you’re stalled, move. Take a walk outside. Walk the block or walk the distance until you feel a shift in your mind. I’ll listen to music that sparks creativity for me or listen to a podcast that IS NOT self help or heavy i.e one of my news podcasts. Another option? Dance. Be in a safe space (alone), put a song on your stereo or on your headphones, crank it, and just move. Dance because no one is watching.
Go somewhere different. Take your laptop, a book, or your journal to somewhere you don’t frequent. A different coffee shop, a different restaurant, or even a library (they still exist). Tour a museum exhibit or the botanical gardens. A change of scenery=a change of energy.
Reach out to someone not on your speed dial. Text or call a friend in the outer rings of your life. Check on them, say hi, and wish them well. I’ve done this often and the response (always positive and appreciated) I get is the best mental medicine. It takes me out of me if that makes any sense.
Turn off your phone. Or silence it and put it away in a random room, bottom of your purse, or I leave mine often in my closet under clothes. Out of sight, out of mind. Literally and figuratively. No social media influence, no checking texts or emails, no scrolling app content etc. Even 10 mins can shift a lot for you.
To days when you wanna say F it, do it. A blow off day (if you can do it or don’t do anything on a day off) is actually a positive thing because there is beauty in the breakdown. I’m not talking about a Britney Spears smashing windows breakdown or an angry rampage that even your mailman can’t avoid. I’m talking about breaking down the need to be everywhere, do everything, and be everyone.
SJ